Coils, cords and plugs.

This has been a learning experience. Apparently, my new (to-me) car of only one year has some issues...

Your spark plugs need to be replaced.

Sure. I mean, we just put new ones in last November, but sure!

The boots that they sit in, yeah- those too are ripped.

Wait, what? They wear boots? Oh, they sit in coils that you just call "boots!" Kind of like how I call my dog "munchkin," even though his name is clearly Harry and it really annoys everyone else and only seems cute to me.

We need to replace all the boots.

All of them? I have no boots? Do I have any moccasins at least? How did this massive-scale failure happen??!?

Well, we know that we need to replace two of them. We're recommending that you replace all four.

Why, praytell?

Cause you'll need to replace them anyway eventually.

Great! Well, while we're at it, I'm gonna have all my teeth pulled (might rot) and go get a prosthetic knee thrown in for good measure (never know when the real one might blow!).

[Silence.] Just so you know, we mechanics don't recognize "satire."

Is that like not having a pituitary gland? No really, please only replace what you have to. Just as a rule of thumb with my car, in general, only replace what you have to. It's just easier that way. For you. For me. (And then I can do the rest when my Pappa comes home from vacation for only $20 in parts and an afternoon spent in his garage!) But really, it's just easier.

Alright ma'am.

Also, just so you know-- if you charge me more than 500 bones, I will pee in your 7-11 Big Gulp. Consider yourself warned.